Firewood/golf, golf/firewood. Both happen outdoors, both are good exercise, both pit you mostly against yourself, both let you hit something and, most important ? both reward a good shot with instant gratification.
And we're not cheating here by buying pre-split. It's not a miniature golf putting rink, where you simply buy, stack it up and call it a hole in one.
Rather, it's the basic act of gathering firewood, i.e., cutting and splitting your own. Whether a bag of clubs or an ax and a maul, it's all about sticks out in the sticks.
Tens of thousands of deer hunters will move out to camp this week for Saturday's buck deer opener and Oregon's forests will echo with the sound of chain saws as campfire piles grow. Many of us will bring some home; statistically, it will likely be the only success for most hunters.
I was on the golf team in high school (Hoover, in San Diego), but have little time to play anymore. There are simply too many hunting and fishing seasons.
Still, I do get out once every year or two ... and I also enjoy splitting my own firewood each summer. I'll probably swing a golf club a bit longer than a maul someday soon, but not quite yet.
The similarities occurred to me this summer, while watching Phil Mickelson sweep the British Isles' opens (Scottish and British); I retreated into the air conditioned house in snippets to mop the sweat and cool off between his and my wedge shots.
For example:
Teeing off (with woods, of course) -- Cutting the logs.
Fairway irons -- Sawing the rounds to size (I prefer 16-inchers).
The short game -- Most crucial; line up the split; take a good stance; swing with acceleration and a good follow-through; choke up on the maul to help the aim; you may even have to use a wedge for the tough shots.
I also love the similarities in the strike.
In golf, you can pretty much tell by the sound and feel of the club meeting the ball whether it's going to be ok. Yeah, maybe a bit of a slice or a hook, but still OK. Well, the same is true when the maul strikes the round. A "thud" isn't good. An echoing sort of "pock" sound relieves all the day's stress and tension as new chunks of firewood fall off on each side.
That's a par for a woodcutter, by the way. A birdie occurs when the same thing happens unexpectedly (or after concentration on the swing and follow through) to a tough piece of wood. The rare eagle (I had three this summer) occurs when you aim for one split, but end up with three pieces instead of two.
And, of course, there are the frequent bogies, double- and even triple-bogies, when it takes more than one (or two or three) swing(s) to finish the split. I always handicap myself in advance by anticipating what will happen with the round. Fir, alder and, sometimes, maple are the easiest to score on. Oak, one of the toughest woods, almost always is at least a par 5 and usually is bogey woodcutting at best.
After splitting two cords of fir, birch and a few par-five oak rounds, I was also able to compare firewood with fish.
Seriously.
Fir -- Pink core, like steelhead. Pretty good firewood, pleasant odor when burning or freshly split.
Alder -- Deeper red core; chinook or even coho. Excellent heat values and commanding odor under flame.
Western Larch (mistakenly called tamarack by hunters) -- Prime firewood; spring chinook for a woodstove, with pungent outdoor odor and high heat value.
Cedar -- Trout-like, maybe bass; burns fast and puts on a great show.
Oak -- Definitely the halibut of the lot.
Maple/birch -- Lingcod or rockfish, perhaps.
Finally, like salmon or venison in the freezer, I'll head into the winter with the same secure feeling a good friend has after a great season on the links with a hot putter.
Every chunk I put in the woodstove will carry a memory -- and some sweat equity.
HUNTER INFO BOOTHS: Despite recent rains, it's possible you may not be allowed to cut firewood in camp this year.
Be sure to check in at any of several hunter information centers open by Thursday along most major highways leading into deer country. Fire restrictions, off-road driving, smoking and other information (and coffee) will be available at most locations.
(Or you can always find a telephone number and call the land manager's office before departing.)
Booths will be open on U.S. 26 (Prineville and Mt. Vernon), U.S. 20 (Sisters), U.S. 97 (La Pine), U.S. 58 (mp 71), Interstate 84 (Memaloose Rest Area), and Dodson Road (The Dalles).
WHOA! Fall chinook counts are off the charts at every counting station in the Columbia River hydroelectric system as biologists are looking for a record 1 million-plus upriver fall chinook return.
The total Columbia fall chinook return, already a record at more than 800,000, is expected to number close to 1.2 million adults.
What went right? Agencies are scrambling for answers.
Anglers are (finally) cheering them on.
-- Bill Monroe
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